It’s been a while since I last wrote. The quest for a new job kept me rather busy - updating the portfolio, tossing out and adding new work, sending out my CV to all wind directions and hoping for that call back. Then of course, after the elation of the call back, follows the INTERVIEW... waiting in the reception area in yet another corporate building, staring at reproduced works of art and wondering if this is really the venture for you - the adventure you were hoping for. Sometimes I catch myself falling too much in the trap of trying to impress rather than looking and listening if this is really right for me.
I gave up trying to pretend I know what’s good for me a long time ago - that’s all the Captain’s glory, He is steering this ship through unknown seas. Knowing when He says what and doing it requires a lot of trust.
The treasure is still alluding me, but the experience thus far has been very positive. Sifting through some of my old work I realised I wasn’t THAT terrible. When no praise comes your way I’m surprised how easily one can believe the omission of praise must then prove the opposite - that you are terrible at what you do, or even worse - mediocre. I’m surprised how differently I see since varsity days. How great is that! One can truly be freed from stifled belief systems (some of them my own). I understand why many say that academic art training is suicide to your own artistic voice - it teaches one to question more than try. I suspect art requires more of the latter with a dash of fun/pleasure and only a hint of the first.
The key might be to try more (it’s easier to live with defeat than with regret) and less to worry whether it might be acceptable or even art!
I’ve included the sketch I made whilst waiting in (one of) the reception area(s).